Review: Rockstar Energy Drink

I'm beginning to wonder whether all energy drink manufacturers come together in order to standardize "energy drink taste" before rolling out a new product, or whether it's something in the taurine, ginseng, and guarana blend that makes them all taste essentially the same. Here, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I said before how I like the taste of Red Bull. While I was less thrilled with the various Monster products, I think Rockstar decided to lean more towards the Red Bull formula. Thus, I like the taste of Rockstar. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the taste, because generally it's hard to describe the taste of a thing without comparing it to something else ("buttery like butter!" "like a candy apple!" "a lot like eating an old dishrag!"). However, I will say it tastes...carbonated, for one (but only "lightly carbonated"). It's a little sugary, but not like drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew. Aside from that, it's just standard energy drink fare. I've created a short flowchart to decide if the taste of Rockstar is something you might like:

1) Have you ever had one of these types of energy drinks before?
          a) If no, then I can't help you. Maybe compare it to soda generally?
2) If yes, did you like the taste of that one (assuming it was the normal flavor, not some crazy alternate variation--I'm looking at Mountain Dew's monthly output of "special editions" here)?
          a) If no, then you won't like this one, I'm sorry.
3) If yes, then you'll probably enjoy this, it's pretty standard.

I hope that was helpful in deciding whether to purchase a Rockstar energy drink the next time you want a bunch of caffeine but don't want coffee. That's really all there is to it.

Verdict: 7/10.

Because that review was so unsatisfying, I thought I would take a moment to comment on the marketing strategies undertaken by all of these energy drink companies. They all seem to cater to extreme sports and guys with flat-billed hats and skater shoes. I suppose caffeine has been linked to increased performance while exercising (just don't overdo it and have your heart beating so fast it can't handle the actual workout), but I feel they may be overdoing it on the "extreme" side. The one area where I appreciate it is in motorsports, because I tend to be a fan. In that area, however, Red Bull seems to dominate, at least among the ones I watch. I suppose Monster and Rockstar sponsor rally events, but Red Bull appears in both NASCAR and Formula 1, even fielding a championship team in the latter. Maybe that's why I like Red Bull the best? Is their advertising subliminally affecting my enjoyment of the beverage? Whatever the case, I wonder what would happen if these energy drink manufacturers tried to go the route of the "Five Hour Energy" deals. The commercials for those "shots" tend to feature working adults who need a boost at the office, rather than a 16-year-old kid para-hangliding off of the side of Taipei 101 (yes, I fabricated that scenario). Does that strategy lead them to be more accepted by those same working adults? Or do they advertise to that demographic because the idea behind the product already appeals to them? I'm not sure which it is.