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| I'm No Artist #9: Ant |
Not familiar with the series? Check out the introduction here: I'm No Artist
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Monday, April 30, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
I'm No Artist #7: Diamonds
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| I'm No Artist #7: Diamonds |
Unfamiliar with the series? Check out the introduction here: I'm No Artist
Saturday, April 14, 2012
It Was A [Regular] Day in April...
I just finished reading George Orwell's dystopic novel 1984. Now, I know what you're thinking, but I promise: I'm not a high school junior. I just never read it when I was in high school, so I figured I might as well do it now and see what our future was like 28 years ago. It's a shame though - after having read it, I really want to write a 5 page essay comparing Orwell's vision of the future to that of Joseph Conrad in Heart of Darkness. (Double-spaced with at least three references, of course.) Unfortunately, I doubt anyone would want to read that. (Perhaps I should narrow my dating pool to naught but English teachers.)
If you're unfamiliar with the novel, then I recommend you go back to school and get your GED because come on, serioulsy?
Kidding. Just check the Wikipedia. In essence: dystopian future, freedom of all kinds is suppressed, the ruling class ["the Party"] knows and controls all. (But seriously, read the book, it's plusgood.)
Obviously our society has not (yet) fallen into such a dystopic state aspredicted warned by the novel. The validity of Orwell's concerns is not really what I want to discuss, though - again, I'm sure you had enough of that in your English classes. What I want to discuss (-ish) is the new diction/language in the novel's society called Newspeak. It is basically the Party's attempt to be more in control by actually limiting the vocabulary, making every word have one specific meaning and eliminating "unnecessary" words. Also, using combinations of the fewer words to replace "eliminated" words, such as good is "good" and ungood is "bad" and plusgood is "great/excellent/superb/awesome". By eliminating words (or changing their meaning), concepts such as freedom and liberty and anything anti-Party eventually will disappear from the lexicon and thus from ideology/thought in general. Everyone will be a goodthinker. (It would be very helpful if you read this appendix on Newspeak that Orwell included in the novel.)
One such word I really like is doublethink, and it basically means to hold two contradictory ideas in your head, but accept them both as true.
I never knew there was a word for this concept, but it's something I'm sure we all do in one instance or another. Personally, I've been doing it in one very specific case for quite some time; a necessity to my happiness and positive outlook on the world. I'm, of course, referring to the ultimate Jurassic Park gaffe. You know the one: at first, the T-Rex paddock has a ground that is level with the car-path outside. However, the T-Rex bursts through the fencing, stepping from one ground to the other, and yet a mere minute later when he flips the car off the track and into the paddock...suddenly the paddock floor is a hundred feet down, as seen by the car free-falling down into a tree, and Grant/Lexi scaling down the wall on a long cable.
When I first was made aware to this rather large mistake, I had two reactions. One: I'm an idiot for not noticing this earlier since it's one of my favorite movies that I've seen a thousand times. And two: damn you interwebz for destroying my happiness at the glory that is Jurassic Park! My world was marred for while and I felt jilted. However, I soon resolved to not let that alter my perception of the movie, so I started actively accepting the contradictory ideas - not creating excuses/reasons for the faux-pas, but simply believing one or the other when it was necessary/convenient. Doublethink.
[Pro-tip: this movie, along with many of your other favorites, is rife with mistakes - if you want to remain innocent and happy with the films, please do not seek out their mistakes. It will make you doubleplusungood. Ignorance is bliss.]
Real quick: another interesting concept from the novel, somewhat akin to doublethink, is the fact that the Party literally rewrites the past to make it fit with the current state of events/ideas/etc of the present. (Another means of control, showing the Party is always right and painting them in a good light at all times.) They perpetrate this via the doublethink-ly titled "Ministry of Truth."
Now I'm not saying that our government does this or anything. It's simply that I just recently saw an article about how unemployment was at a low, when I swear I had just seen one that said it was at a high. Same with new job creation. Pretty much anything to do with economics or politics. Again, I don't think our government is perpetrating any grand-scale hoodwink on us - I'm just admitting that I am woefully ignorant with certain current event topics. Maybe I wouldn't mind a Party doing all my thinking for me.
Fun facts!:
-The title of this post references 1984's infamous opening line, "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." But today was just a regular April day.
-The basic purpose and ideology behind Newspeak are somewhat akin to the Esperanto language. They just differ in vocabulary and that pesky "we're doing this to control you" vibe that Newspeak has. (Gratuloj, vi povas legi esperanto!)
-The Bad Religion song "Boot Stamping on a Human Face Forever" gets it title from a line in 1984: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." Powerful imagery.
-If you're feeling pretentious and/or rebellious, there's this fun poster.
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| Big Brother is watching you. |
If you're unfamiliar with the novel, then I recommend you go back to school and get your GED because come on, serioulsy?
Kidding. Just check the Wikipedia. In essence: dystopian future, freedom of all kinds is suppressed, the ruling class ["the Party"] knows and controls all. (But seriously, read the book, it's plusgood.)
Obviously our society has not (yet) fallen into such a dystopic state as
One such word I really like is doublethink, and it basically means to hold two contradictory ideas in your head, but accept them both as true.
I never knew there was a word for this concept, but it's something I'm sure we all do in one instance or another. Personally, I've been doing it in one very specific case for quite some time; a necessity to my happiness and positive outlook on the world. I'm, of course, referring to the ultimate Jurassic Park gaffe. You know the one: at first, the T-Rex paddock has a ground that is level with the car-path outside. However, the T-Rex bursts through the fencing, stepping from one ground to the other, and yet a mere minute later when he flips the car off the track and into the paddock...suddenly the paddock floor is a hundred feet down, as seen by the car free-falling down into a tree, and Grant/Lexi scaling down the wall on a long cable.
When I first was made aware to this rather large mistake, I had two reactions. One: I'm an idiot for not noticing this earlier since it's one of my favorite movies that I've seen a thousand times. And two: damn you interwebz for destroying my happiness at the glory that is Jurassic Park! My world was marred for while and I felt jilted. However, I soon resolved to not let that alter my perception of the movie, so I started actively accepting the contradictory ideas - not creating excuses/reasons for the faux-pas, but simply believing one or the other when it was necessary/convenient. Doublethink.
[Pro-tip: this movie, along with many of your other favorites, is rife with mistakes - if you want to remain innocent and happy with the films, please do not seek out their mistakes. It will make you doubleplusungood. Ignorance is bliss.]
Real quick: another interesting concept from the novel, somewhat akin to doublethink, is the fact that the Party literally rewrites the past to make it fit with the current state of events/ideas/etc of the present. (Another means of control, showing the Party is always right and painting them in a good light at all times.) They perpetrate this via the doublethink-ly titled "Ministry of Truth."
Now I'm not saying that our government does this or anything. It's simply that I just recently saw an article about how unemployment was at a low, when I swear I had just seen one that said it was at a high. Same with new job creation. Pretty much anything to do with economics or politics. Again, I don't think our government is perpetrating any grand-scale hoodwink on us - I'm just admitting that I am woefully ignorant with certain current event topics. Maybe I wouldn't mind a Party doing all my thinking for me.
Fun facts!:
-The title of this post references 1984's infamous opening line, "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." But today was just a regular April day.
-The basic purpose and ideology behind Newspeak are somewhat akin to the Esperanto language. They just differ in vocabulary and that pesky "we're doing this to control you" vibe that Newspeak has. (Gratuloj, vi povas legi esperanto!)
-The Bad Religion song "Boot Stamping on a Human Face Forever" gets it title from a line in 1984: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." Powerful imagery.
-If you're feeling pretentious and/or rebellious, there's this fun poster.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
I'm No Artist #4: The Hipster Tributary
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| I'm No Artist #4: The Hipster Tributary |
Unfamiliar with the series? Check out the intro here: I'm No Artist
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Commercial World
While watching TV commercials this morning, I started to daydream about what life would be like if we lived in the world that's portrayed in said commercials. I imagine a typical day would go something like this:
I wake up in a panic as I realize that everything is black and white. Have I lost my ability to see colors and hues and tones? No. I simply am using an inferior product. But what could it be? I must remedy this issue so I can regain full use of my senses. The problem quickly reveals itself when the attractive model who happened to be sleeping next to me wakes up. And by "wake up" I mean that she dramatically (and silently) arches her back and grimaces while sitting on the edge of...THE BED! I mean, I feel quite refreshed, but if the beautiful stranger thinks I need a new mattress on which to spoon, with no sheets and no blankets, and with a glass of wine in the corner (or maybe some bowling pins), then I will do everything in my power to buy the right one. After being magically transported to the mattress store, we select a mattress on which I can jump up and down without waking my girlfriend/wife/one-night-stand or (perhaps more importantly) spilling my alcoholic beverage.
With the world returned to it's normal color, I can finally start my day. After enjoying a bowl of Brand Name Bran (part of a complete, colon-healthy breakfast), I turn on the TV. As one might expect, every channel's lineup consists of half-hour commercials, with short breaks for...more commercials. I think I see a news program, but it's just a fake report by a fake anchor about a fake break-in at the home of a senior citizen. Although maybe that break-in is real in this commercial world. This is all starting to become confusing, and now I have a headache, so I take two Aleve for all-day relief (it would take eight Tylenol to do that).
My headache cured, I decide to drive around and explore this strange new world. I find a brand new Cadillac in my driveway (that talking baby did wonders for my investment portfolio) and, oddly enough, an old Subaru Forester (I must have some sort of nostalgic memories associated with it). I'm really hoping to be able to fly down curvy highways (on a closed course) at 190mph without worrying about a speeding ticket or even an accident (because I just bought insurance from a diminutive cartoon army general, and no longer have to worry about Mayhem). But alas, it seems everyone else in the area has the same idea, because the highways are backed up with everything from Audis to Jaguars to Volvos (all driven by professional drivers).
I take the next exit and head for the scenic natural wonder of the Grand Canyon. This will surely make the day worthwhile! Nope. There is yet another traffic jam waiting to frustrate my day further, but upon closer inspection I find that normal automobiles are not the culprit, but rather a swarm of senior citizens on motorized scooters, slowly puttering their way to the top where they can revel in how active they are in their old age.
Well this is all just too much for me. By now, I'm just ready for this day to be over. I return home, take a bath in an old-fashioned tub that is inexplicably stationed outside of my house, watch TV in my Snuggie, and gradually fall asleep while counting Serta sheep jumping over furniture from the Red House.
P.S.- I came across this during my internet searches, and it made me laugh. It might make you laugh too.
I wake up in a panic as I realize that everything is black and white. Have I lost my ability to see colors and hues and tones? No. I simply am using an inferior product. But what could it be? I must remedy this issue so I can regain full use of my senses. The problem quickly reveals itself when the attractive model who happened to be sleeping next to me wakes up. And by "wake up" I mean that she dramatically (and silently) arches her back and grimaces while sitting on the edge of...THE BED! I mean, I feel quite refreshed, but if the beautiful stranger thinks I need a new mattress on which to spoon, with no sheets and no blankets, and with a glass of wine in the corner (or maybe some bowling pins), then I will do everything in my power to buy the right one. After being magically transported to the mattress store, we select a mattress on which I can jump up and down without waking my girlfriend/wife/one-night-stand or (perhaps more importantly) spilling my alcoholic beverage.
 |
| "After nine commercials, I've forgotten what film we were watching" |
With the world returned to it's normal color, I can finally start my day. After enjoying a bowl of Brand Name Bran (part of a complete, colon-healthy breakfast), I turn on the TV. As one might expect, every channel's lineup consists of half-hour commercials, with short breaks for...more commercials. I think I see a news program, but it's just a fake report by a fake anchor about a fake break-in at the home of a senior citizen. Although maybe that break-in is real in this commercial world. This is all starting to become confusing, and now I have a headache, so I take two Aleve for all-day relief (it would take eight Tylenol to do that).
My headache cured, I decide to drive around and explore this strange new world. I find a brand new Cadillac in my driveway (that talking baby did wonders for my investment portfolio) and, oddly enough, an old Subaru Forester (I must have some sort of nostalgic memories associated with it). I'm really hoping to be able to fly down curvy highways (on a closed course) at 190mph without worrying about a speeding ticket or even an accident (because I just bought insurance from a diminutive cartoon army general, and no longer have to worry about Mayhem). But alas, it seems everyone else in the area has the same idea, because the highways are backed up with everything from Audis to Jaguars to Volvos (all driven by professional drivers).
I take the next exit and head for the scenic natural wonder of the Grand Canyon. This will surely make the day worthwhile! Nope. There is yet another traffic jam waiting to frustrate my day further, but upon closer inspection I find that normal automobiles are not the culprit, but rather a swarm of senior citizens on motorized scooters, slowly puttering their way to the top where they can revel in how active they are in their old age.
Well this is all just too much for me. By now, I'm just ready for this day to be over. I return home, take a bath in an old-fashioned tub that is inexplicably stationed outside of my house, watch TV in my Snuggie, and gradually fall asleep while counting Serta sheep jumping over furniture from the Red House.
P.S.- I came across this during my internet searches, and it made me laugh. It might make you laugh too.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
I'm No Artist #1: Why Giraffes Hate Winter
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| I'm No Artist #1: Why Giraffes Hate Winter |
I know, he has no spots. Let's say that they're covered in snow. No head? Um...tragic...scarf accident?...
Unfamiliar with the series? Check out the introduction: I'm No Artist
Poor Grammer
Alot of people have alot of different pet peeves. They can vary from whistling to animals-dressed-as-humans to improperly pronouncing it "supposably". However, most of these annoyances are encountered in slim numbers and not very often. One of my more bigger pet peeves is one that I, along with everyone else in the world, encounter on a daily hourly basis. I am of course speaking about poor grammer. Whether I hear it in a conversation or read it somewhere online, It brings out my inner grammer nazi. As soon as I read "...that's there dog...", you can practically see a swastika taking form on my face. A swastika composed of apostrophes and commas.
Dont get me wrong, I'm by no means a master of the english language, but their are certain basic rules that everyone has been taught at some point in time - whether by a parent or an english teacher or a pretentious classmate - that should stick with you and form the foundation of everything you speak or write for the rest of your life that you just shouldn't forget because its not that hard to remember and I dont know if its lazyness or unintelligence that causes it but it does bother me when people ignore these basic dictional and syntaxical decencies like improper "punctuation" and run-on sentences...
(I suppose whats even more aggrevating is poor spelling, but fortunately you dont encounter that faux-pas of the english language as often. Its curtailed by SpellCheck - that infamous red-underline - and the fact that you dont have to spell your words when your speaking outloud. Unless your talking in front of a b-a-b-y.)
One of the most frequent of these misgrammerizations is the there/they're/their problem. Obviously, the root of this problem is due to homophones. (Not that I'm word-bashing or anything. I just dont think homophones should be getting married.) They all sounds the same, so (some) people assume there all used the same. This homophone problem is only exacerbated by the fact that our world is trending less towards writing words and more towards seeing images. Entertainment and even teaching is continually going in the direction of less books and more films and videos - a medium in which the proper use of "theiy're" is unnecessary. And even what little composition we still do outside of school or work - ie, the internet, texting, etc - we abbreviate er'thing and take liberties and shortcuts w/ our words, not the least of which is "theiy're."
I'm sure their are other frequent homophone mix-ups two, but I cant think of any write now.
Apostrophes, commas, and other, punctuation mistakes, are quite rampant, as well? And we can round out my complaints with who/whom and sentences where prepositions are improperly put in. But I'm not going to belabor the point because the ire of one internet-person will not be enough to out-do the workings of generations of certified and degree-ified professional instructors of the english language. If you dont get it now, then you probably wont ever. I'm just imploring you - when speaking or writing, take an extra second and ask yourself if your making the correct grammer choices. After all, english is your first language (I'm assuming). Try not to butcher it.
[I apologize for the inflicting the preceding post upon you. I hope it vexed you as much as it vexed me. I consider it my comedic version of grammatical-flagellation. If it makes you feel any better, I'll give you 5 free internet points for each error you spot. Free internet points!]
Dont get me wrong, I'm by no means a master of the english language, but their are certain basic rules that everyone has been taught at some point in time - whether by a parent or an english teacher or a pretentious classmate - that should stick with you and form the foundation of everything you speak or write for the rest of your life that you just shouldn't forget because its not that hard to remember and I dont know if its lazyness or unintelligence that causes it but it does bother me when people ignore these basic dictional and syntaxical decencies like improper "punctuation" and run-on sentences...
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| www.toothpastefordinner.com |
(I suppose whats even more aggrevating is poor spelling, but fortunately you dont encounter that faux-pas of the english language as often. Its curtailed by SpellCheck - that infamous red-underline - and the fact that you dont have to spell your words when your speaking outloud. Unless your talking in front of a b-a-b-y.)
One of the most frequent of these misgrammerizations is the there/they're/their problem. Obviously, the root of this problem is due to homophones. (Not that I'm word-bashing or anything. I just dont think homophones should be getting married.) They all sounds the same, so (some) people assume there all used the same. This homophone problem is only exacerbated by the fact that our world is trending less towards writing words and more towards seeing images. Entertainment and even teaching is continually going in the direction of less books and more films and videos - a medium in which the proper use of "theiy're" is unnecessary. And even what little composition we still do outside of school or work - ie, the internet, texting, etc - we abbreviate er'thing and take liberties and shortcuts w/ our words, not the least of which is "theiy're."
I'm sure their are other frequent homophone mix-ups two, but I cant think of any write now.
Apostrophes, commas, and other, punctuation mistakes, are quite rampant, as well? And we can round out my complaints with who/whom and sentences where prepositions are improperly put in. But I'm not going to belabor the point because the ire of one internet-person will not be enough to out-do the workings of generations of certified and degree-ified professional instructors of the english language. If you dont get it now, then you probably wont ever. I'm just imploring you - when speaking or writing, take an extra second and ask yourself if your making the correct grammer choices. After all, english is your first language (I'm assuming). Try not to butcher it.
[I apologize for the inflicting the preceding post upon you. I hope it vexed you as much as it vexed me. I consider it my comedic version of grammatical-flagellation. If it makes you feel any better, I'll give you 5 free internet points for each error you spot. Free internet points!]
Monday, February 27, 2012
I'm No Artist #0: Welcome
Welcome to my new comic series. My hope is for it to be a weekly installment, but that will be entirely dependent upon my capacity for creativity and my resolve to actually draw/edit/upload it. Both my capacity and resolve have been called into question before. I'm making no promises.
I've decided to name the series "I'm No Artist". Well, that's a bit misleading - it's not really a comic "series," per se, in that there is no storyline whatsoever, no uniting theme, and no repertoire of main characters. It's just funny things up with which my mind comes that I blurb onto paper. It does, however, have a title that will remain constant, so there's that.
Oh, the title? "I'm No Artist"? Yeah, that's completely appropriate and not at all misleading. Plain and simple: I can't draw. What you'll see from me might be quite comparable to what you'd find somewhere in the Lascaux Cave.* Actually, strike that - I'd be insulting those artists by comparing my work to theirs. Mine is more like something you might find on the internet that was drawn hastily and uploaded amateur-ly by a 20-something male who has no formal training or natural talent for drawing but still presents funny ideas through a visual medium anyways. Or whatever.
So why have I decided to do the series? I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that make me chuckle throughout the day, and I like to jot them down on paper to remember them. They make me smile, and I hope they can make others smile as well. Sometimes these thoughts-puns-jokes work best as one-liners or other stand-up material, but sometimes they're best presented as a comic.
So why do I think I can execute a comic with no capacity for art? And why do I keep asking rhetorical questions? Well, I believe comic artists have two main components: the idea and the execution; ie, the words and the art. I've got the "words" part down, but the "art" not so much. Actually, let's break down "art" into it's own two categories: picture and presentation. I'll define "picture" as the image you have in mind and it's representation on paper. "Presentation" would be drawing the image in a manner such that the resulting picture is a perfect reflection of what you have in mind. And since I manage to get something down on the paper, imperfect as it may be, I'll claim a "picture" victory and just lament the "presentation". So, that's "words" and "picture" under my belt, but not "presentation". Well, two out of three ain't bad, right Meat Loaf?
As it stands right now, the comics will all be hand-drawn, as it's either that or even worse MS Paint depictions. (Also, I may or may not draw a majority of the comics at work when I'm bored and the ideas first strike me.) However, this amateur paper-sketching, low-tech drawing could change as soon as enough of you generous, wealthy people donate money to the Help Joker Purchase A Computer Sketch Pad Thing fund. And while you're at it, you're welcome to donate enough money such that I can quit my job. And buy a big house. And sit in it all day, trying to think of original things to entertain you. Or think of things that other people have thought of to entertain you and let you know about them.
Phew, that was a lot of words for a post that was supposedly centered around a comic. I promise those forthcoming will be scant on words and full of not words. So, without any further ado, I welcome you with patient zero of the series - I'm No Artist #0: Welcome.
*(Lascaux cave virtual tour! Don't worry, I found the English version for you.)
I've decided to name the series "I'm No Artist". Well, that's a bit misleading - it's not really a comic "series," per se, in that there is no storyline whatsoever, no uniting theme, and no repertoire of main characters. It's just funny things up with which my mind comes that I blurb onto paper. It does, however, have a title that will remain constant, so there's that.
Oh, the title? "I'm No Artist"? Yeah, that's completely appropriate and not at all misleading. Plain and simple: I can't draw. What you'll see from me might be quite comparable to what you'd find somewhere in the Lascaux Cave.* Actually, strike that - I'd be insulting those artists by comparing my work to theirs. Mine is more like something you might find on the internet that was drawn hastily and uploaded amateur-ly by a 20-something male who has no formal training or natural talent for drawing but still presents funny ideas through a visual medium anyways. Or whatever.
So why have I decided to do the series? I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that make me chuckle throughout the day, and I like to jot them down on paper to remember them. They make me smile, and I hope they can make others smile as well. Sometimes these thoughts-puns-jokes work best as one-liners or other stand-up material, but sometimes they're best presented as a comic.
So why do I think I can execute a comic with no capacity for art? And why do I keep asking rhetorical questions? Well, I believe comic artists have two main components: the idea and the execution; ie, the words and the art. I've got the "words" part down, but the "art" not so much. Actually, let's break down "art" into it's own two categories: picture and presentation. I'll define "picture" as the image you have in mind and it's representation on paper. "Presentation" would be drawing the image in a manner such that the resulting picture is a perfect reflection of what you have in mind. And since I manage to get something down on the paper, imperfect as it may be, I'll claim a "picture" victory and just lament the "presentation". So, that's "words" and "picture" under my belt, but not "presentation". Well, two out of three ain't bad, right Meat Loaf?
As it stands right now, the comics will all be hand-drawn, as it's either that or even worse MS Paint depictions. (Also, I may or may not draw a majority of the comics at work when I'm bored and the ideas first strike me.) However, this amateur paper-sketching, low-tech drawing could change as soon as enough of you generous, wealthy people donate money to the Help Joker Purchase A Computer Sketch Pad Thing fund. And while you're at it, you're welcome to donate enough money such that I can quit my job. And buy a big house. And sit in it all day, trying to think of original things to entertain you. Or think of things that other people have thought of to entertain you and let you know about them.
Phew, that was a lot of words for a post that was supposedly centered around a comic. I promise those forthcoming will be scant on words and full of not words. So, without any further ado, I welcome you with patient zero of the series - I'm No Artist #0: Welcome.
 | ||
| I'm No Artist #0: Welcome |
*(Lascaux cave virtual tour! Don't worry, I found the English version for you.)
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Commune-ication
Hello.
I say that for two reasons. One: to be cordial and acknowledge your presence, as is proper according to Emily Post. And two: to somewhat hyperbolistically declare my amazement at that one word. Not really by the word itself, but more so how it's being conveyed: on the Internet. (Which spell check just told me to capitalize. I suppose it's proper, as in: I'm going to vacation in Internet for a while. Way easier to get to than Europe, but less exciting.)
Think about it. First, the telephone enabled us to speak to one another over great distances in real time. That was followed by the cell phone, adding portability to the equation. Next came text messaging - a great way to send short messages when talking wasn't an option. Then it seemed texting took over. I'd be willing to bet that for (cell) phone usage, texts outweigh talking minutes by a good bit. (I'm actually worried that the teenagers of today are going to forget how to use their voice and propel us into a weird, dystopic future of mute communication. Commutecation.) They've even tried to make texting easier: adding text-to-voice or voice-to-text features, allowing the phone to translate your words into a message, or read a message aloud. Who knows, maybe one day we could bypass that text-encryption step and just have one voice speaking directly to another in real time. Oh wait...
And that's just telephones, not even to mention the internet. But this isn't a post about the history of communication. More like a blurb about the future of it.
I'm reminded of a Nick Swardson bit about video games becoming more and more realistic, such that in a few years, to play a video game, you'll just go to your friend's house and actually physically fight him. Can't get much more realistic than that.
And that suggests a good point about communication of the future. I think it'spossible probable that as technology such as the telephone, internet, holograms, devices-that-haven't-yet-been-invented and etc all coalesce, our communications of the (distant?) future - if we haven't blown ourselves up by then - will essentially be an in-person, face-to-face, physical interaction. Even when you can't actually be in-person and face-to-face. Think about the paradox of communication: over the years as it has advanced, it has simultaneously distanced us from each and yet brought us closer together. We let ourselves drift farther and farther apart - both spatially and temporally - because we know that communications technology can reconnect us in an instant.
As time goes on and technology advances while the population increases or expands (space colonization?), we will be more separate-yet-together than ever before. Will we have communication? No, I say we will have commune-ication. Communication so advanced that it essentially nullifies the significance of any type of distance we have between us.
[On a more serious note, please do not text and drive. It is rather dangerous to both you and the Innocents on the road. In fact, I propose a new social protocol. Much like taking someone's keys when they show up to an alcohol party (as all the cool kids call it), I recommend we take someone's cell phone if they send more than 50 texts at a party within any given hour. I wouldn't trust them on the drive home with it.]
I say that for two reasons. One: to be cordial and acknowledge your presence, as is proper according to Emily Post. And two: to somewhat hyperbolistically declare my amazement at that one word. Not really by the word itself, but more so how it's being conveyed: on the Internet. (Which spell check just told me to capitalize. I suppose it's proper, as in: I'm going to vacation in Internet for a while. Way easier to get to than Europe, but less exciting.)
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| It's a hologram. Futuristic communication from "a long time ago..."? |
Communication - much like technology, Pokémon, and society in general - has greatly evolved over the past few decades. We went quite a time between the invention of the telephone and the first mobile phone, or "car phone" if you will - I still remember when they were called that for a reason. I'm sure there were some steps and variations between landlines and cellulars, but they are negligible compared to the sheer number of changes and features that cell phones have undergone themselves in just the past 10 years. Texting, cameras, touchscreen, internet access - the list goes on, but I'm too lazy to actually do any research on it.
Think about it. First, the telephone enabled us to speak to one another over great distances in real time. That was followed by the cell phone, adding portability to the equation. Next came text messaging - a great way to send short messages when talking wasn't an option. Then it seemed texting took over. I'd be willing to bet that for (cell) phone usage, texts outweigh talking minutes by a good bit. (I'm actually worried that the teenagers of today are going to forget how to use their voice and propel us into a weird, dystopic future of mute communication. Commutecation.) They've even tried to make texting easier: adding text-to-voice or voice-to-text features, allowing the phone to translate your words into a message, or read a message aloud. Who knows, maybe one day we could bypass that text-encryption step and just have one voice speaking directly to another in real time. Oh wait...
And that's just telephones, not even to mention the internet. But this isn't a post about the history of communication. More like a blurb about the future of it.
I'm reminded of a Nick Swardson bit about video games becoming more and more realistic, such that in a few years, to play a video game, you'll just go to your friend's house and actually physically fight him. Can't get much more realistic than that.
And that suggests a good point about communication of the future. I think it's
As time goes on and technology advances while the population increases or expands (space colonization?), we will be more separate-yet-together than ever before. Will we have communication? No, I say we will have commune-ication. Communication so advanced that it essentially nullifies the significance of any type of distance we have between us.
[On a more serious note, please do not text and drive. It is rather dangerous to both you and the Innocents on the road. In fact, I propose a new social protocol. Much like taking someone's keys when they show up to an alcohol party (as all the cool kids call it), I recommend we take someone's cell phone if they send more than 50 texts at a party within any given hour. I wouldn't trust them on the drive home with it.]
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