Monday, April 30, 2012

Monthly Thoughts: April 2012

Joker:

I don't think any article on CNN should be remotely titled "Was That Guy Hot for My Baby Bump?"  Regardless of it's relevance to the article, I think there's a more professional way to title it.  What's next, a New York Times piece called "144 Ways to Reach That Perfect Summer Bod"?

I'm sorry, but there's a point at which "...but he's a good kid" stops applying; sometimes, at a current moment in time, no, he/she is in fact not a good kid.  "Yeah, he's been in a few fights at school, but he's a good kid.  And I mean, he did get suspended for drug possession, but he really is a good kid.  And he may be having some trouble now in college; actually, he just got arrested for drug trafficking, but he is a good kid at heart.  Well, we got the bail posted, then found out that he stole some money from us (not sure what for), but he's a good kid..."  Honestly, how far is this gonna go?

I've decided the best job I could have would be as a ranch-hand with a donkey...but I do not manure the fields.  So basically I can sit on my ass all day and not do shit.

As a former-cellist and amateur loop-pedalist, I find Zoe Keating impressive and entertaining.

Judge

Over a few days earlier in the week, there was a spate of late night hammer attacks in the Petworth neighborhood of Washington, DC. While that is bizarre on its own, it turns out that the suspect in at least some of the attacks, who was arrested in possession of a claw hammer shortly after police came upon a victim, happens to be the brother of NFL stars Vernon and Vontae Davis.

For those of you who don't follow the NBA (or the Charlotte Bobcats, for which I wouldn't blame you), the Bobcats just finished the worst season in NBA history. I'll let Wikipedia sum up how the season went:
In the lockout-shortened season the Bobcats struggled and posted an NBA-worst record of 7-59, losing their last 23 games of the season. In a nationally televised game against the New York Knicks the Bobcats recorded yet another loss as their win percentage dropped to .106, setting a new record for the worst season by an NBA team in history. Their 23-game losing streak is a franchise record, which broke their previous record of 16 that was set earlier in the year...
It may not be nearly as pronounced as the effects of the burning of fossil fuels, but it appears that wind power generators have their own climate effects, though perhaps just on the micro level. It turns out that, at least in one study, the presence of large wind farms can raise the temperatures at the generators' bases due to the way the windmills move the air.

I don't think I need to say anything more than this: does the NFL Draft really have to take three days now? After the first round, teams take less and less time to make a decision as the rounds go on. I don't expect a lot of people really tune in on day three to see who's getting picked in the last few rounds, anyway.

On a similar note, I was watching SportsCenter after the Draft and they had Todd McShay on there already predicting the standouts for next year's draft! Come on, guys. At least McShay was willing to say he hadn't really even looked at the tape of any of the players that would be coming out next year. The only player he mentioned specifically was Matt Barkley.

I'm No Artist #9: Ant

I'm No Artist #9: Ant


Not familiar with the series?  Check out the introduction here: I'm No Artist

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Review: Rockstar Energy Drink

I'm beginning to wonder whether all energy drink manufacturers come together in order to standardize "energy drink taste" before rolling out a new product, or whether it's something in the taurine, ginseng, and guarana blend that makes them all taste essentially the same. Here, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I said before how I like the taste of Red Bull. While I was less thrilled with the various Monster products, I think Rockstar decided to lean more towards the Red Bull formula. Thus, I like the taste of Rockstar. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the taste, because generally it's hard to describe the taste of a thing without comparing it to something else ("buttery like butter!" "like a candy apple!" "a lot like eating an old dishrag!"). However, I will say it tastes...carbonated, for one (but only "lightly carbonated"). It's a little sugary, but not like drinking a bottle of Mountain Dew. Aside from that, it's just standard energy drink fare. I've created a short flowchart to decide if the taste of Rockstar is something you might like:

1) Have you ever had one of these types of energy drinks before?
          a) If no, then I can't help you. Maybe compare it to soda generally?
2) If yes, did you like the taste of that one (assuming it was the normal flavor, not some crazy alternate variation--I'm looking at Mountain Dew's monthly output of "special editions" here)?
          a) If no, then you won't like this one, I'm sorry.
3) If yes, then you'll probably enjoy this, it's pretty standard.

I hope that was helpful in deciding whether to purchase a Rockstar energy drink the next time you want a bunch of caffeine but don't want coffee. That's really all there is to it.

Verdict: 7/10.

Because that review was so unsatisfying, I thought I would take a moment to comment on the marketing strategies undertaken by all of these energy drink companies. They all seem to cater to extreme sports and guys with flat-billed hats and skater shoes. I suppose caffeine has been linked to increased performance while exercising (just don't overdo it and have your heart beating so fast it can't handle the actual workout), but I feel they may be overdoing it on the "extreme" side. The one area where I appreciate it is in motorsports, because I tend to be a fan. In that area, however, Red Bull seems to dominate, at least among the ones I watch. I suppose Monster and Rockstar sponsor rally events, but Red Bull appears in both NASCAR and Formula 1, even fielding a championship team in the latter. Maybe that's why I like Red Bull the best? Is their advertising subliminally affecting my enjoyment of the beverage? Whatever the case, I wonder what would happen if these energy drink manufacturers tried to go the route of the "Five Hour Energy" deals. The commercials for those "shots" tend to feature working adults who need a boost at the office, rather than a 16-year-old kid para-hangliding off of the side of Taipei 101 (yes, I fabricated that scenario). Does that strategy lead them to be more accepted by those same working adults? Or do they advertise to that demographic because the idea behind the product already appeals to them? I'm not sure which it is.

Monday, April 23, 2012

I'm No Artist #8: Ghost

I'm No Artist #8: Ghost


Unfamiliar with the series?  Check out the introduction here: I'm No Artist

Monday, April 16, 2012

I'm No Artist #7: Diamonds

I'm No Artist #7: Diamonds


Unfamiliar with the series?  Check out the introduction here: I'm No Artist

Saturday, April 14, 2012

It Was A [Regular] Day in April...

I just finished reading George Orwell's dystopic novel 1984.  Now, I know what you're thinking, but I promise: I'm not a high school junior.  I just never read it when I was in high school, so I figured I might as well do it now and see what our future was like 28 years ago.  It's a shame though - after having read it, I really want to write a 5 page essay comparing Orwell's vision of the future to that of Joseph Conrad in Heart of Darkness.  (Double-spaced with at least three references, of course.)  Unfortunately, I doubt anyone would want to read that.  (Perhaps I should narrow my dating pool to naught but English teachers.)

Big Brother is watching you.

If you're unfamiliar with the novel, then I recommend you go back to school and get your GED because come on, serioulsy?

Kidding.  Just check the Wikipedia.  In essence: dystopian future, freedom of all kinds is suppressed, the ruling class ["the Party"] knows and controls all.  (But seriously, read the book, it's plusgood.)

Obviously our society has not (yet) fallen into such a dystopic state as predicted warned by the novel.  The validity of Orwell's concerns is not really what I want to discuss, though - again, I'm sure you had enough of that in your English classes.  What I want to discuss (-ish) is the new diction/language in the novel's society called Newspeak.  It is basically the Party's attempt to be more in control by actually limiting the vocabulary, making every word have one specific meaning and eliminating "unnecessary" words.  Also, using combinations of the fewer words to replace "eliminated" words, such as good is "good" and ungood is "bad" and plusgood is "great/excellent/superb/awesome".  By eliminating words (or changing their meaning), concepts such as freedom and liberty and anything anti-Party eventually will disappear from the lexicon and thus from ideology/thought in general.  Everyone will be a goodthinker.  (It would be very helpful if you read this appendix on Newspeak that Orwell included in the novel.) 

One such word I really like is doublethink, and it basically means to hold two contradictory ideas in your head, but accept them both as true.

I never knew there was a word for this concept, but it's something I'm sure we all do in one instance or another.  Personally, I've been doing it in one very specific case for quite some time; a necessity to my happiness and positive outlook on the world.  I'm, of course, referring to the ultimate Jurassic Park gaffe.  You know the one: at first, the T-Rex paddock has a ground that is level with the car-path outside.  However, the T-Rex bursts through the fencing, stepping from one ground to the other, and yet a mere minute later when he flips the car off the track and into the paddock...suddenly the paddock floor is a hundred feet down, as seen by the car free-falling down into a tree, and Grant/Lexi scaling down the wall on a long cable.

When I first was made aware to this rather large mistake, I had two reactions.  One: I'm an idiot for not noticing this earlier since it's one of my favorite movies that I've seen a thousand times.  And two: damn you interwebz for destroying my happiness at the glory that is Jurassic Park!  My world was marred for while and I felt jilted.  However, I soon resolved to not let that alter my perception of the movie, so I started actively accepting the contradictory ideas - not creating excuses/reasons for the faux-pas, but simply believing one or the other when it was necessary/convenient.  Doublethink.

[Pro-tip: this movie, along with many of your other favorites, is rife with mistakes - if you want to remain innocent and happy with the films, please do not seek out their mistakes.  It will make you doubleplusungood.  Ignorance is bliss.]

Real quick: another interesting concept from the novel, somewhat akin to doublethink, is the fact that the Party literally rewrites the past to make it fit with the current state of events/ideas/etc of the present.  (Another means of control, showing the Party is always right and painting them in a good light at all times.)  They perpetrate this via the doublethink-ly titled "Ministry of Truth."

Now I'm not saying that our government does this or anything.  It's simply that I just recently saw an article about how unemployment was at a low, when I swear I had just seen one that said it was at a high.  Same with new job creation.  Pretty much anything to do with economics or politics.  Again, I don't think our government is perpetrating any grand-scale hoodwink on us - I'm just admitting that I am woefully ignorant with certain current event topics.  Maybe I wouldn't mind a Party doing all my thinking for me.



Fun facts!:

-The title of this post references 1984's infamous opening line, "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."  But today was just a regular April day.

-The basic purpose and ideology behind Newspeak are somewhat akin to the Esperanto language.  They just differ in vocabulary and that pesky "we're doing this to control you" vibe that Newspeak has.  (Gratuloj, vi povas legi esperanto!)

-The Bad Religion song "Boot Stamping on a Human Face Forever" gets it title from a line in 1984: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever."  Powerful imagery.

-If you're feeling pretentious and/or rebellious, there's this fun poster.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

When is a Family Guy Joke Canon?

I've always been interested in the the field of canon as a part of a story or series that has an ongoing development schedule. I think the easiest way to think of this is a seasons-long TV series where each episode tells an individual, generally unrelated story, while overall maintaining some semblance of linearity in the characters' development. Another area where this is highly visible is in video game series' where the user is given some level of choice in outcomes from event to event. If the exploits of that character are referred to in subsequent games, the developers must either stick only to events that they required the player to complete (hence, canon), or else risk the possibility of creating canon out of something that didn't necessarily happen to a particular player in a particular game.

Focusing on the development of canon in a TV series, this concern occurs most often, as far as I can tell, in comedies, particularly animated ones (I'm looking at shows like Family Guy, Futurama, and I suppose non-animated shows such as Seinfeld). Each of these shows has a general character development timeline throughout the series. In essence, there is a linear backstory to the character that develops on each character both through revelations made during various episodes and through certain events within episodes that the writers decide will become part of the character's, and hence the series', canon. Here arises the distinction between canon and non-canon within episodes.

As a small example, I will use Family Guy situations because it's a great example of the seemingly arbitrary distinction between what becomes canon and what is ignored. Because Family Guy consists of both "cut away" jokes and plot-based, situational jokes, each provides an opportunity to either create or ignore canon. As a rough rule, "cut away" jokes tend to not become canon, and often can ignore past canon in making the joke. A good example is where Peter is shown in Vietnam during the Vietnam war, dressed as a clown. Peter is somewhere between 43 and 44 years old, and so would have been too young to serve during the time of the Vietnam War.

This age discrepancy is actually a running issue throughout the series, as well as with many other animated shows that don't show characters aging (an example of the rare story where animated characters do age is the comic strip, For Better or For Worse). In Family Guy, the lack of aging becomes an issue that requires the suspension of disbelief as the series progresses. Two of the most egregious examples consist of Stewie being perpetually one year old, and Bonnie Swanson being pregnant "for like six years." Both situations are referenced by other characters at some point in the series--Stewie, when Brian asks him why he still has a stuffed animal and is surprised to hear Stewie is still one, and Bonnie when Peter calls her out for having a six-year pregnancy. However, these age impossibilities are still canonical, as each is an element that transcends individual episodes and becomes part of the show's fabric. I wonder, though, how they can fit together, as Bonnie having a child who becomes a functioning baby would seem to conflict with Stewie never aging (though he does at one point have his first birthday). This concern is better left for another post, however.

Returning to the distinction between plot-based jokes and cut away jokes, even when a plot-based joke appears to be believable and likely to transcend the specific episode in which it occurs, often it is not later referenced in any way, leaving it up to the viewer to guess whether it was indeed made canon or not. To contrast, often cutaways are easy to spot when they are non-canonical because they involve an outrageous situation that is impossible to reconcile with an ongoing story (such as when a main character dies in the scene). However, when something that occurs in a cutaway is plausible, but very unlikely to occur, it is more questionable.

A few things that occur in episodes and become canon later on are, for example, Kevin Swanon's presumed death in Iraq (which is later made into a plotline in an episode, where Kevin miraculously returns unharmed). His participation in the Iraq War was only briefly noted in an single episode, but is cemented as Family Guy canon when he returns. Another is the death of several secondary (but recurring) characters in the episode, And Then There Were Fewer, which are later confirmed (mostly through the simple fact that they are no longer in the show). As a further tidbit, James Woods, who was one of the victims in the episode, later returns in another episode, attributing his apparent resurrection to medical science and his status as a famous actor. This canonical fact in itself illustrates the distinction I'm trying to make. Had the deaths in And Then There Were Fewer not been canon, no reference would have been made in the later appearance, because non-canon events don't need to be referenced, and often aren't allowed to be, by definition. The simple fact of an explanation for James Woods' return in a subsequent episode stamps the events in the earlier episode as "canon" in the Family Guy story.

Tracking the differences between jokes that produce canon and those that don't is difficult without explicit references later on. Are we to believe that Peter has had dozens of jobs in recent years outside of the few that are certainly canonical (Happy-Go-Lucky Toys, Pawtucket Patriot brewery, even freelance fisherman for a period)? Did Stewie and Brian really fight in the Iraq War?

I think that because a lot of the situations are far-fetched and seemingly disjointed, it makes the determination of what is canon and what is not all the more interesting. Peter probably has not actually been addicted to the various hard drugs that we see him face throughout the series, but we are to believe he has repeatedly destroyed the front of Cleveland's house, as well as many other structures (as his propensity for mayhem was referenced in an episode where a contractor asks Lois whether she had any house repair needs in a given week). The suspension of disbelief and the distinction between what is "real" and what is simply for extended comedic effect are difficult concepts to reconcile, but they make shows of this type more interesting to piece together beyond the simple entertainment of an episode.

In essence, the problem with canon vs. non-canon helps this kind of show. On one hand, those who have never seen it can pick it up in a given episode and follow along with near-full entertainment (in contrast to heavily storied shows where a new viewer must be clued in to every relationship and scenario in order to understand much of anything); and on the other, a seasoned viewer can pick up on nuances and subtle character-background developments that are referenced, left up to that viewer to determine whether it is canonical or else used simply for entertainment value at that moment, to make a joke work.

I'm going to leave this discussion here, with TV shows, rather than carry on into the video game series examples. Long posts can get tedious, and I would likely double the length of this one if I continued. Perhaps I'll address it in a later post.

Monday, April 9, 2012

I'm No Artist #6: Ninja

I'm No Artist #6: Ninja



Unfamiliar with the series?  Check out the introduction here: I'm No Artist


Thursday, April 5, 2012

Twelve Songs in Twelve Months

I thought it would be interesting to do a short piece on songs that incorporate months into their titles, whether or not they're truly about those months at all. For example, March and May are both about subjects other than the months themselves (March is about the act of marching, while May is about a woman). I also wanted to keep each artist to one showing, but I failed with Counting Crows, because I couldn't overlook "A Long December" and had trouble finding a good August song.

"January Wedding" by The Avett Brothers

"February Song" by Josh Groban

"Marchin' On" by OneRepublic

"April in Paris" performed by Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

"Maggie May" by Rod Stewart

"June Hymn" by The Decemberists

"1000 Julys" by Third Eye Blind

"August and Everything After" by Counting Crows

"September" by Ryan Adams

"October" by U2

"Come November" by Thriving Ivory

"A Long December" by Counting Crows


Honorable Mentions:

The Avett Brothers could have also gotten credit for "November Blue" and "Denouncing November Blue (Uneasy Writer)". November was a tough month all around, with "November" by Trampled by Turtles also receiving recognition for being one of my favorite bluegrassy songs.

The Avett Brothers are big on using months in their songs--I also considered including "Sixteen in July".

I also wanted to note several artists I've listened to over the years with months in their names: Making April, Until June, Blue October, The Early November, and of course The Decemberists (who received credit for "June Hymn" but also could have gotten in with "July, July!" There are undoubtedly more artists that fit the criteria, but I only wanted to include those I'm most familiar with, and this isn't meant to be comprehensive.

Monday, April 2, 2012

I'm No Artist #5: March Madness

I'm No Artist #5: March Madness


Unfamiliar with the series?  Check out the intro here: I'm No Artist