The Shrinking Generation

The generations are shrinking.  Obviously, the people who comprise each successive generation aren't physically diminishing in stature; that much is made clear whenever I watch any sports program.  The 'shrinking' I am referring to is the shortening timeframe which houses each generation.  Let me clarify.

"Why should I have to turn pages to read a book?"

The "baby boomer" generation generally includes those born between the years 1946 and 1964, an eighteen year span.  By contrast, I consider myself to be of the "'90s generation," a generation that grew up with the delicate balance of outdoor activity and blooming video game technology (see Nintendo 64).  I (roughly and subjectively) include into this generation those who were born between the years 1986 and 1993, a seven year span.  And I continue to observe the younger whippersnappers forming even narrower generational "cliques".  What is the reason for these smaller and smaller time constraints?  I have a couple of theories.


Theory 1: The increasing frequency of technological advances

This one is pretty self-explanatory; the generational groupings mimic the groupings of technological advances.  The time period between World War II and the Vietnam War saw many technological achievements, but they were relatively slow and stepped, giving time for the various age groups to adjust and adapt.  Even the most stubborn old codgers had time to be convinced of the superiority of newer technology and subsequently begin using it.

However, since the invention of the personal computer and mobile phone, technology has upgraded at an exponential pace, to the point where new iPads are introduced every year and people upgrade their cell phones almost more frequently than they change their underwear.  In these fast-paced conditions, even just a five year age difference can be a huge disparity in cultural upbringing.

Television is also a technology that has greatly evolved over the years.  Households once had only a single small TV with a meager 3 channels, but with today's cable and satellite packages including hundreds of channels and thousands of shows that are constantly changing, our popular culture-driven society reflects those changes and, as stated above, creates a cultural disparity in just a few short years.

Theory 2: Joule's Second Law of Generational Grouping

Kepler's second law of Planetary Motion states that a line joining a planet and the Sun sweeps out equal areas during equal intervals of time.  This explains why a planet moves faster when closer to the Sun and slower when further away.  Similarly, my Second Law of Generational Grouping states that the timeframes which define generational groups must be set such that each generation contains an equal number of people.  So as the population continues to explode, each generational time constraint must continue to shrink in order to keep the number of people in each grouping roughly the same.

Looking towards the future, I can't help but wonder how extreme this generational shrink will become.  Will it eventually come to the point where everyone born on a single particular day is labeled as their own generation?  We'll see...

Review: Java Monster Loca Moca

I'm currently drinking a 15 fluid ounce can of Loca Moca Java Monster coffee + energy. Because we've recently started this blog about everything and nothing, I thought it would be appropriate to write up a short review of my feelings on the beverage. So here it is.

The lineup. Today's subject is right in the middle.

First, know that I am somewhat of an avid energy drink fan. I haven't had dozens of them and I don't drink two a day or anything, but I will occasionally indulge, and I tend to enjoy the taste of them. I particularly like Red Bull (not the sugar free kind), a drink which I've heard many people refer to as tasting like "cough syrup," so take my review of this Monster drink with whatever salt grains you like.

I also enjoy coffee, and usually don't put too many flavor-adjusters in it (a little milk or half and half, sometimes a packet of Splenda). The point is, while I think Starbucks' frappuccinos are delicious, I don't need to have candy-in-a-cup to enjoy my coffee.

Thus, when I picked out Java Monster Loca Moca, I wasn't sure what to expect. Normal Monster tastes decidedly "okay," somewhere in between Mountain Dew and medicine (I do see where people are coming from when they complain about energy drinks' taste). But Java Monster doesn't have any of the carbonated taste that typical energy drinks have. Unfortunately, as a mix between coffee and an energy drink, it is a jack of all trades (and hence a master of none). The coffee taste is muted, which may be good for those who don't particularly like coffee--but then, why would you choose an energy drink that is part coffee in the first place? I, however, found that the mix wasn't all too pleasing. It reminded me of Starbucks' frappuccinos you can buy at the grocery store, but the taste was a little off (that's the Monster in it, I'm sure). The other part--and this is more my own shortcoming than that of the drink--is that I'm not the biggest fan of the "moca" portion of Loca Moca. Perhaps "Mean Bean" or "Big Black" would have been more my speed? (Stay tuned.)

From an energy standpoint, Java Monster says it has "half the caffeine of regular coffee" but "[t]wice the Buzz." Apparently "buzz" is now a proper noun? I didn't see any sort of trademarking in their statement, so I guess it's not a proprietary statement, but we should be aware that Buzz is now more than just a state of being caffeinated, at least as far as Monster is concerned. But I digress. I did some quick research on Java Monster compared to coffee in order to check their statements, and they're pretty accurate. According to energyfiend.com, whose veracity I cannot verify, Java Monster contains 160mg of caffeine per 15oz can. Coffee of the same quantity contains an average of 270mg according to WolframAlpha. Thus, while it is not quite half the caffeine of coffee, but rather somewhat more than half, it does indeed contain less caffeine than a similar quantity of coffee.

The jury is still out on the amount of Buzz one can find in regular coffee.


Verdict: rent, don't buy.*


*Jokes, of course. I would give Loca Moca Java Monster a solid 5/10 with 10 being coffee-energy-drink heaven and 1 being actual cough syrup (well, Robitussin at least--have you tried that bilge?). In summary, it's something to try if you're a fan of Starbucks' grocery store offerings or need a little jolt but don't want to commit to a cup of hot coffee or some refreshing exercise. Just don't expect it to change your life.

I'm No Artist #0: Welcome

Welcome to my new comic series.  My hope is for it to be a weekly installment, but that will be entirely dependent upon my capacity for creativity and my resolve to actually draw/edit/upload it.  Both my capacity and resolve have been called into question before.  I'm making no promises.

I've decided to name the series "I'm No Artist".  Well, that's a bit misleading - it's not really a comic "series," per se, in that there is no storyline whatsoever, no uniting theme, and no repertoire of main characters.  It's just funny things up with which my mind comes that I blurb onto paper.  It does, however, have a title that will remain constant, so there's that.

Oh, the title?  "I'm No Artist"?  Yeah, that's completely appropriate and not at all misleading.  Plain and simple: I can't draw.  What you'll see from me might be quite comparable to what you'd find somewhere in the Lascaux Cave.*  Actually, strike that - I'd be insulting those artists by comparing my work to theirs.  Mine is more like something you might find on the internet that was drawn hastily and uploaded amateur-ly by a 20-something male who has no formal training or natural talent for drawing but still presents funny ideas through a visual medium anyways.  Or whatever.

So why have I decided to do the series?  I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that make me chuckle throughout the day, and I like to jot them down on paper to remember them.  They make me smile, and I hope they can make others smile as well.  Sometimes these thoughts-puns-jokes work best as one-liners or other stand-up material, but sometimes they're best presented as a comic.

So why do I think I can execute a comic with no capacity for art?  And why do I keep asking rhetorical questions?  Well, I believe comic artists have two main components: the idea and the execution; ie, the words and the art.  I've got the "words" part down, but the "art" not so much.  Actually, let's break down "art" into it's own two categories: picture and presentation.  I'll define "picture" as the image you have in mind and it's representation on paper.  "Presentation" would be drawing the image in a manner such that the resulting picture is a perfect reflection of what you have in mind.  And since I manage to get something down on the paper, imperfect as it may be, I'll claim a "picture" victory and just lament the "presentation".  So, that's "words" and "picture" under my belt, but not "presentation".  Well, two out of three ain't bad, right Meat Loaf?

As it stands right now, the comics will all be hand-drawn, as it's either that or even worse MS Paint depictions.  (Also, I may or may not draw a majority of the comics at work when I'm bored and the ideas first strike me.)  However, this amateur paper-sketching, low-tech drawing could change as soon as enough of you generous, wealthy people donate money to the Help Joker Purchase A Computer Sketch Pad Thing fund.  And while you're at it, you're welcome to donate enough money such that I can quit my job.  And buy a big house.  And sit in it all day, trying to think of original things to entertain you.  Or think of things that other people have thought of to entertain you and let you know about them.

Phew, that was a lot of words for a post that was supposedly centered around a comic.  I promise those forthcoming will be scant on words and full of not words.  So, without any further ado, I welcome you with patient zero of the series - I'm No Artist #0: Welcome.

I'm No Artist #0: Welcome

*(Lascaux cave virtual tour!  Don't worry, I found the English version for you.)

Commune-ication

Hello.

I say that for two reasons.  One: to be cordial and acknowledge your presence, as is proper according to Emily Post.  And two: to somewhat hyperbolistically declare my amazement at that one word.  Not really by the word itself, but more so how it's being conveyed: on the Internet.  (Which spell check just told me to capitalize.  I suppose it's proper, as in: I'm going to vacation in Internet for a while.  Way easier to get to than Europe, but less exciting.) 

It's a hologram.  Futuristic communication from "a long time ago..."?

Communication - much like technology, Pokémon, and society in general - has greatly evolved over the past few decades.  We went quite a time between the invention of the telephone and the first mobile phone, or "car phone" if you will - I still remember when they were called that for a reason.  I'm sure there were some steps and variations between landlines and cellulars, but they are negligible compared to the sheer number of changes and features that cell phones have undergone themselves in just the past 10 years.  Texting, cameras, touchscreen, internet access - the list goes on, but I'm too lazy to actually do any research on it.

Think about it.  First, the telephone enabled us to speak to one another over great distances in real time.  That was followed by the cell phone, adding portability to the equation.  Next came text messaging - a great way to send short messages when talking wasn't an option.  Then it seemed texting took over.  I'd be willing to bet that for (cell) phone usage, texts outweigh talking minutes by a good bit.  (I'm actually worried that the teenagers of today are going to forget how to use their voice and propel us into a weird, dystopic future of mute communication.  Commutecation.)  They've even tried to make texting easier: adding text-to-voice or voice-to-text features, allowing the phone to translate your words into a message, or read a message aloud.  Who knows, maybe one day we could bypass that text-encryption step and just have one voice speaking directly to another in real time.  Oh wait...

And that's just telephones, not even to mention the internet.  But this isn't a post about the history of communication.  More like a blurb about the future of it.

I'm reminded of a Nick Swardson bit about video games becoming more and more realistic, such that in a few years, to play a video game, you'll just go to your friend's house and actually physically fight him.  Can't get much more realistic than that.

And that suggests a good point about communication of the future.  I think it's possible probable that as technology such as the telephone, internet, holograms, devices-that-haven't-yet-been-invented and etc all coalesce, our communications of the (distant?) future - if we haven't blown ourselves up by then - will essentially be an in-person, face-to-face, physical interaction.  Even when you can't actually be in-person and face-to-face.  Think about the paradox of communication: over the years as it has advanced, it has simultaneously distanced us from each and yet brought us closer together.  We let ourselves drift farther and farther apart - both spatially and temporally - because we know that communications technology can reconnect us in an instant.

As time goes on and technology advances while the population increases or expands (space colonization?), we will be more separate-yet-together than ever before.  Will we have communication?  No, I say we will have commune-ication.  Communication so advanced that it essentially nullifies the significance of any type of distance we have between us.


[On a more serious note, please do not text and drive.  It is rather dangerous to both you and the Innocents on the road.  In fact, I propose a new social protocol.  Much like taking someone's keys when they show up to an alcohol party (as all the cool kids call it), I recommend we take someone's cell phone if they send more than 50 texts at a party within any given hour.  I wouldn't trust them on the drive home with it.]

"I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones"

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white;

Robins will wear their feathery fire,
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn
Would scarcely know that we were gone.     

                          -There Will Come Soft Rains, poem by Sara Teasdale (1920)

I've been interested in dystopic and post-apocalyptic media for some time now. Fortunately for me, there's actually a lot of it out there--more than I would have thought before I went looking for it. I know there are a lot of other people who have similar interests (yes, the zombie craze has many crossover points with post-apocalyptic media generally), so I wanted to start a segment on some of my favorites.

Concept art from Fallout 3, drawn by Adam Adamowicz of Bethesda Softworks.

Realize, first, that dystopia and post-apocalyptia share some traits but fundamentally cover two separate things. While dystopic settings describe a society (that still exists!) in a repressive, police-state situation, post-apocalyptic settings occur when society has broken down due to some tremendous catastrophe. In short, dystopia covers a society that is still structured, but exists in an anti-utopia (hence the name), while post-apocalyptia entails a society that has completely broken down into the state of nature. Post-apocalyptic stories usually involve extensive lawlessness and fights for even the most basic of needs. Sometimes there are pockets of people who have begun to rebuild and have created some semblance of order once more. Another key aspect of post-apocalyptic situations is the apocalypse itself. This could be anything from a natural disaster to an entirely humanity-created catastrophe (as we will see, humanity has a tendency to bring about its own demise in post-apocalyptic literature).

In essence, while the two categories have some similarities (namely, the undesirable nature of living in such a setting), they are fundamentally different. While dystopic societies may be extremely repressive, there is at least some structure to them. In fact, often it is the extent of the structure that causes such a society to be come dystopic in the first place. In this way, they are in stark contrast with the complete "wild west" attitude of post-apocalyptic society.

I plan to hash out each situation further in later posts, while highlighting my favorite examples of each. For now, though, I just wanted to provide a brief overview of each.

Anthropomorphic Animals, A Primer

I've decided to do a periodic feature of something that's long interested me: anthropomorphic animals that themselves have animal companions. More particularly, the animal companions (often pets) are themselves not anthropomorphic, serving as a bizarro parallel to our own world. Imagine it like a human having a human pet that doesn't act as a human, but more like a wolf boy. I find the anthropomorphism/normal companion situation fascinating and somewhat unsettling.

This feature will, over time, explore various examples of this phenomenon, mostly in TV and film. For now, however, I'd like to just get into some common characteristics of anthropomorphic characters. I'm going to refer to anthropomorphic animals as "anthros" for the rest of this post for simplicity's sake.

There are many variations of anthros, but in generally they share a few characteristics:

• human thoughts and actions
• often they have the ability to walk upright
• they can usually speak (in whatever language the audience uses)

There are also many variations on the anthro theme. For example, though the anthros often can walk on two feet regardless of the representative animal's anatomy, there is wide variation among anthros when it comes to whether they wear clothes or not. Even when anthros wear some form of clothing, they often will wear a shirt and remain pantless. I suppose this trend goes to the fact that, while anthros are given almost fully humanized qualities, they remain based on animals whose nudity doesn't matter.

Additionally, the mental capacity of anthros exists on a continuum. Some anthros are fully capable of interacting with human characters. Others are able to only communicate through animalistic sounds and human-like gestures. In between these two extremes is the section of anthros that can communicate only with fellow anthros. These may be animals that appear wholly normal to humans but in fact speak in human language when communicating with one another. 

Anthropomorphic animals are most often represented through cartoons--likely because of the difficulty in representing live-action animals as having human characteristics without the use of expensive CGI--but this is not a requirement. As this feature continues in future posts, it is my hope that I can analyze anthropomorphism in an interesting way. As I said in the opening, I'm most interested in anthros that themselves have pets (that are usually not anthropomorphic, or are at least less human than their owner). 

Next in the series: Rocko and Spunky from Nickelodeon's Rocko's Modern Life nicktoon. 

Welcome to Some Guys!

This blog is an idea without direction. In that I mean we started it without having a specific goal in mind for our readers or ourselves. This may be evident in the vague, non-themed title, Some Guys, Some Thoughts, Some Words.

We are, in fact, some guys. Currently there are two of us, but that's not an absolute number as our mission, ideas, and readership changes. We are also guys who have thoughts. We'll be taking some of those thoughts and transferring them into the blogosphere, hence the words that the title relates to. Beyond these vague introductions, however, the rest of the blog will develop and morph as time goes on. I like to think that adaptability is important in today's ever-changing, electronically-dominated society, so it's a concept I'm readily willing to embrace for our blog.

I would also like to warn our readership ahead of time, my posts are likely to highly varied. Some will be analysis of current news stories and events, and some will be no more than things that are of interest to me at a given time. I believe that my co-author will be focusing more on providing a humorous outlet, so at times this blog may seem very "yen and yang" in difference. But I'm not concerned by that, in fact, I welcome it as a way to broaden our reader base by providing a variety of interesting posts. I suppose we're taking a "jack of all trades" approach (meaning, unfortunately, we're masters of none), so I hope that you'll find there's something for everyone.